My Gethsemane Moment

I've been blessed with good health, hardly fall sick and when I do it's minor.

When I was carrying Mich, there was no doubt in my mind that I would be in good health and give birth naturally to a healthy baby, well as it turned out I had a c-section.

I always dreamed that I would have all my children by the age of 30, well... I had to re prioritise.

When I was expecting Nziiza I never imagined that I would go into preterm labor let alone have Jesus take him back immediately, again I was wrong it all happened.
It felt like the ground had been removed from under my feet, all these bombs hitting me from a direction I least expected.

Ok, where do I go?, well to the author of my life. "Jesus please help me, what is going on?" He was there, He comforted me and even though I couldn't get the answers I knew I was safe with Him, He healed me.

I'm on the go again and this time I'm praying and telling God how I would like to have another child without any trouble. As I move a long I'm reading the scriptures and understanding how I'm no longer under the curse, by His stripes I was healed and that means the curse that was placed on me because of the sin of Eve has been lifted, I can have a supernatural pregnancy and child birth.
Next day I get a call from my doctor and she is talking about a cervical cerclage, huh?? what are you talking about? never heard of it, never knew it existed, boof!!! another bomb.

"Ok, God what is going on?" this doesn't make sense. I begin telling Him how I don't want any of that stuff, no way.
Then He brings me to a point of total surrender, I'm like God, you know what?! I've come to realise that my life is not my own, I'm here to bring you Glory, it's not about me but about you and what you want to do with my life.

CLING!!!! My Gethsemane moment.

I would rather not go through these tough circumstances but if all this is so that your name is glorified, bring it on. If it means giving away all that I am, all that I have, health, family, friends, all the things that "define me", then let it be.
God if it means taking my life so that Glory comes to you, LET IT BE.

It's painful, it's hard, but I surrender all. Immediately there is a big burden lifted off of me, the pressure is off and an inexplicable joy comes over me.
Oh what JOY!!!.

Now I have an idea of what Jesus was talking about Matthew 26:38-39


'Then Jesus went with them to a garden called Gethsemane and told his disciples, "Stay here while I go over there and pray." Taking along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he plunged into an agonizing sorrow. Then he said, "This sorrow is crushing my life out. Stay here and keep vigil with me."
Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, "My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?" '


It's a daily process of surrender ... Selah, Amen.